How to be more happy
Happiness is something we all strive for, yet it remains an elusive and often misunderstood concept. Many of us believe that happiness is the absence of pain, that if we could just eliminate all sources of discomfort, we would be happy. However, this couldn't be further from the truth. As Tal Ben Shahar, a student and teacher in the field of happiness studies, explains, there are only two kinds of people who do not experience painful emotions: psychopaths and the dead.
The first group, psychopaths, lacks empathy and emotional depth, which means they don't feel pain in the way that most of us do. The second group, the dead, doesn't feel anything at all. This might seem like an obvious point, but it's one that we often forget. We tend to believe that a happy life means being happy all the time, but this is simply not possible.
Learning to accept and even embrace painful emotions is an important part of a happy life. We need to recognize that pain is an inevitable part of the human experience and that trying to avoid it only makes things worse. Instead, we should strive to learn from our pain and use it to grow stronger. This is what Ben Shahar calls "post traumatic growth," which is the psychological equivalent of antifragility.
Antifragility is a concept that was introduced by Nassim Taleb, and it essentially means resilience 2.0. Resilience 1.0 is when a system can withstand pressure and return to its original state after the pressure is lifted. Antifragility, on the other hand, means that a system can actually grow stronger when subjected to pressure. Our muscular system is an example of an antifragile system. When we go to the gym and lift weights, we put pressure on our muscles, which causes them to grow stronger.
The same principle applies to our psychological health. When we experience stress or trauma, we have a choice: we can let it break us down, or we can use it to grow stronger. Post traumatic growth is about choosing the latter. It's about recognizing that we have the capacity to bounce back from adversity and become stronger than we were before.
So how can we cultivate antifragility and post traumatic growth? This is where the field of happiness studies comes in. According to Ben Shahar, the role of this field is to teach us what conditions we can put in place to increase the likelihood of growing from hardship.
One important thing to understand is that pursuing happiness directly can actually be counterproductive. When we place too much emphasis on being happy, we can become fixated on the idea of happiness and end up feeling even more unhappy. This is known as the paradox of happiness. The solution is to pursue happiness indirectly, by focusing on the things that contribute to our overall well-being.
Ben Shahar uses the SPIRE model to illustrate this point. SPIRE stands for spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional well-being. By focusing on these five elements, we can trigger our antifragile system and cultivate post traumatic growth.
Spirituality is about finding meaning and purpose in life, whether at work or at home. When we have a sense of purpose, we are more likely to overcome barriers and bounce back from adversity. Physical well-being is about managing stress and making time for recovery. This means taking breaks, using vacation time, and disconnecting from work when we're not on the clock.
Intellectual well-being involves asking questions and engaging deeply with material, whether it's a work of art, a book, or nature. Relational well-being is all about spending quality time with the people we care about and who care about us. And emotional well-being involves embracing painful emotions.
In Taleb's view, the opposite of antifragile isn't fragility or resilience; it's something he calls "robustness." Robustness, he says, is simply the ability to withstand stressors without being damaged. For example, a bridge might be robust because it can withstand heavy traffic without collapsing, but it doesn't get stronger as more traffic passes over it. A fragile bridge, on the other hand, would be damaged by heavy traffic, and eventually collapse. An antifragile bridge, however, would not only withstand heavy traffic, but it would also get stronger as more traffic passes over it.
So how do we create antifragile systems? Taleb argues that we should focus on creating systems that are capable of adapting to stressors and becoming stronger as a result. One way to do this is through experimentation and trial and error. By exposing a system to a variety of stressors, we can learn what works and what doesn't, and make adjustments accordingly. This is the approach taken by nature, which has spent billions of years experimenting with different forms of life and adapting to changing environments.
Another way to create antifragile systems is to embrace redundancy and decentralization. By creating multiple redundant systems, we can ensure that if one system fails, there are backups in place to take over. Decentralization, on the other hand, allows for a system to operate even if certain parts of it are damaged or destroyed. For example, the internet is a decentralized system, which means that even if one server goes down, the rest of the network can still function.
Taleb's ideas have important implications for business, government, and society as a whole. In a world that is becoming increasingly complex and interconnected, we need systems that can adapt to changing conditions and withstand unexpected shocks. By embracing antifragility, we can create systems that are not only resilient, but that can actually benefit from stressors, becoming stronger and more efficient as a result.
In conclusion, antifragility is a concept that challenges our traditional view of resilience and robustness. By embracing the idea of systems that can actually benefit from stressors, we can create more efficient and effective systems that are better equipped to deal with the challenges of the modern world. Whether it's in business, government, or our personal lives, the idea of antifragility can help us all become more adaptable, resilient, and successful.
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